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  • Writer's picturecounsellorshelley

The "fixer upper project"

Let's continue with why intelligent women end up with emotionally unavailable men #emotional distance. A "fixer upper" you are about to discover doesn't just apply to run down, unloved houses they can and do come in the shape of potential partners. They might be emotionally distant, damaged or need fixing in some way #rescuemyman. There are many reality shows which are popular due to our fascination with "make overs". Who can resist the urge to oooh and aaahhh as the results of the make over are the curtains part and we see the new and improved person strut their stuff down the cat walk?

So who wouldn't want a piece of that? With "fixer uppers" we convince ourselves that our love will change them, heal them and turn them into the prince of our dreams #cantchangeapartner . In my book "A Cage Called Hope" I shared We convince ourselves that because we see their potential, we can love them into becoming the person we need them to be." #unrealisticexpectations

We can't make over each other
Reovate buildings not people

We start out with the best of intentions with a plan which is fundamentally flawed and can't lead to good outcomes. This approach can only lead to disappointment and resentment as we are not entitled to or able to control someone else's growth or healing #healthyrelationshipgoals.

Let's Discuss:  Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt responsible for your partner's emotional well-being? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Empower Yourself:  Consider what qualities you truly value in a partner. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?

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